


The Supreme Leader’s General

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, In Which Hux And Mitaka Write RPF, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Rating May Change, Unfortunate Implications
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25037788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In which instead of Hux being a spy, Hux and Mitaka dream up a fic with General Dameron and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, starting as a distraction.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: The Darkpilot Library





	The Supreme Leader’s General

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Oh fuck, I’m going to get hatemail...
> 
> Anyway, this is half-inspired by jeeno’s fic, half-inspired by my own personal canon.

It was no secret that Armitage Hux despised Kylo Ren. 

He couldn’t say when they had gotten off on the wrong foot, but they had. Ren was an embarrassment to the First Order, and right now...right now, after the way Ren had treated him on the Supremacy, he would do anything to get rid of that —

It was then that the idea actually struck Hux. After all, Dameron was Ren’s weakness. He’d seen it. The way Ren hadn’t killed Dameron on Jakku, the way Ren had actually sprung to Dameron’s defense when Hux had accurately pointed out that General Organa just saw him as a replacement. There was something there. There could also be the girl, though Hux wasn’t sure.

Dameron he was certain of. (And the fact that Dameron had insulted his mother would make it sweet revenge) 

No, could he actually do this? That was the question. After all, the idea of writing the Supreme Leader copulating, and with the same man who had insulted Hux’s mother...

It was repellent. It was ridiculous. Surely there were more rational actions, like waiting for Ren to make a total nerf of himself. Which wasn’t hard. (Luke Skywalker was Exhibit A)

Maybe it would be a small step. A small part of his grand plan. Now, he just needed to actually start his plan. 

***

Signing up for The Archivist took a while. During that time, Hux liked to think that he had led the First Order troops to victory — and persuaded Mitaka to go along with his plan. (In response to Hux asking him if he was tired of “that tantrumming, overgrown infant who thinks that his trivial problems are something everyone likes hearing about”, Mitaka had, reluctantly, agreed — it seemed to at least wear down his objections of doing something “mean". Mitaka was tolerable, but Sithspit, he could be too nice) Now...

”So let me get this straight,” Mitaka said, “You’re planning to write the Supreme Leader and General Dameron...”

”I thought we already discussed this, Doph,” Hux said. 

”I know.” Then, “Don’t you think that we’d have to figure out what kind of lube they’d use?”

A snort. “You're taking this more seriously than it needs to be.” 

”I’m just saying. I’ve seen blood used as lube in...erotica before.”

Hux glared at him. “I can’t believe you have such a sweet face and you say that.”

Mitaka shrugged. “I want to scrub my brain too, Armie. And...should we worry about accuracy?”

”I don’t really care,” Hux said. “I’m wondering if there should be a plot. Wait...” An idea struck him. “You know, some of these people going on about our ‘glorious’ Leader being misunderstood, about how he was neglected...we might as well pander to them.”

”Do we need to?” Mitaka said. 

”Well, think of it this way,” Hux said. “At least we can provide a good sympathetic sob story for Ren.”

***

Within hours, they’d planned the story. A story about the misunderstood, lonely Kylo Ren, and the exasperating, curiously dashing Poe Dameron. Hux knew that Kylo and Dameron had been friends as children, and he doubted that he could find a more odd combination. Even as he typed up the first chapter, he couldn’t help but think of a younger boy, laughed at by his father, humiliated —

No, he and Ren weren’t the same. Not at all. Ren hadn’t gone through what Hux did. So what if Leia Organa had sent him off to the Academy? At least Ren had had scraps of a childhood here and there. 

It didn’t stop Hux from looking at what he’d done — it looked good, he would say that — and then, at Mitaka’s approval, copying, pasting and uploading.

Hux smiled. The board was set, and the pieces were moving. Now all he had to do was _keep_ Ren distracted...


End file.
